I called home today. I miss my parents a lot. I love my newfound independence but I find it hard that I can't be around for them. I think about how much I've disappointed them in the past but I know that despite it all I'm also a source of pride for them. I sat here and cried because each and everytime I talk to them especially my Mom, I can feel her pain and I cry not because I am homesick but I wish we understood each other more. I wish I can erase her pain and everything she's gone through. I also wish she can be happy. I probably shouldn't write this especially because I told them about my blog. But writing about everything makes me feel better. I remember thinking initially that I came here to run away from things at home. But now that I'm here, I feel that I can see things clearer. I still feel that I'm trying to avoid dealing with what's going on. But I also feel that I can't do anything unless I learn to be independent. I can't shelter them from what they're going through. But I can be their silver lining.
I am very proud of what my parents have gone through and what they've managed to achieve. I wish for my parents to find happiness somewhere. They've experienced a lot of betrayal and a lot of hardships that they have a hard time finding the good in things. I know that we don't always get along. but here in Korea I think about those times and oddly enough it doesn't make me bitter but rather care for them more because at the end of the day, we can only hurt those that matter most. I don't think that came out right. What I'm trying to say is that I know they love me very much and it is because of them that I have this bright outlook on life. They've sheltered me from the hardships they've had to endure and endured them so that I would have a better life and it's because of them that I'm who I am. At the risk of sounding very cheesy. I just wanted to say I love my parents, I miss them very much and if anybody ever sees them on the street, please be kind to them. I hope everything works out for them and I hope that I can give them as much pleasure in this world to make up for all the bad that's happened to them.
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6 comments:
I think it's important to live on your own. It's gives you a totally different perspective, especially when you are living on your own in a different city away from your family.
i think the fact that your parents had you helps them get through the hardships. sometimes its probably hard for them to remember that or even to show that they appreciate you but i bet that they do. it would be impossible. you're a great daughter and a great person. i'm glad we're friends.
aww Jmes, I love you!
*single tear* aw mimmers! i love you too!
p.s. where is MY link?
She obviously doesn't love you as much as me! Or at least she thinks my blog is more interesting :)
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